Dear Olive Garden,
I would like to personally thank you for contributing to obesity in America. In all honesty it would be hard to gain weight without you. I could not think of a better restaurant to dine at (especially for feeling miserable afterwards, significant amounts of weight gain, and affordable-ness). After all for $8.95 I can get unlimited salad/soup, breadsticks, and pasta. Your pasta bowls are so small, only like the size of a crock-pot, so it makes me comfortable knowing seconds come free of charge.
You also really contribute to the backwards American way of life. If you are considering global expansion you might want to take this next suggestion to heart. When I choose to dine at your restaurant with just one other person (two total people, for those keeping tabs) you serve us three breadsticks. Earlier I mentioned these breadsticks are unlimited. Last time I checked, that meant if I wanted more I could make that request with the waiter/waitress. I also know that forty-three tons of food waste is thrown out in America every day. Serving two breadsticks might be more appropriate. Or hell, keep the wasting up, and give us fat couples four.
Sincerely,
A Very Concerned Customer
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