Her parents taught her Christmas was about the birth of Jesus and not about getting presents. If your children don't go to church and have no clue about Jesus then Christmas is definitely going to be about presents. Despite her disapproval of Christianity she likes the nativity. I can't wrap my head around that because I was not truly brought up in the church. However, if she wants to display baby Jesus and the three wise men and not believe in them I will support a her. I am really not sure how she is going to explain the nativity, maybe she will be showing approval and acceptance of things different from what she believes? J.L.W.'s last request, she does not want to go to church and she is a little against the twice a year Christmas and Easter idea. That makes church seem like a hassle, I agree.
I am confident her email was not meant to be funny but the whole time I was reading it I was terrified at the bottom she was going to tell me she was pregnant. No worries, she's not. Unlike J.L.W. I was not raised in the church so I do not have my childhood working against me. We went to church in spurts of a lot followed by no church at all. C.D. and I were baptized and confirmed, but I would categorize us in the twice a year bunch of church pretenders. It probably made my grandparents happy to know we went to church at all. I am highly oppose to the idea of church at the holidays. This method of religion makes church look like a chore, looks like you only attend to make yourself feel less guilty about not going to the other fifty-two services throughout the year, and confuses the hell out of your children. I definitely do not want to raise my children in a church. My plan is to expose my children to church, take them a couple of times, encourage them to go with friends when invited, discuss and answer any questions they have concerning church. Thank goodness I met several God-loving, bible-worshipping people in my seven year stint in the South, surely they can help me with the questions.
If my family lands in a town where there are lots of church go-ers I am going to find a family activity for us to do on Sunday mornings... volunteering at a soup kitchen or walking dogs and cleaning cages at an animal shelter. After moving to the South I was invited to several churches with 'friends' from school or neighbors I babysat for. J.L.W. was the reason I started going to church, actually we rarely made it to church in my pre-driving years because encouraging my parents to go was close to impossible. On the flip side they were always more than willing to drive me to MYF. I can't blame them too much, it worked to my advantage; MYF was the fun part of the church scene. I went to church to make friends. I was desperate! I want my children to have self-worth on Sundays and a purpose if the rest of the town is at church. I do not want them believing in something merely to fit in. Even if we do not end up living in a town with a strong church community I still want to have some productive family time. I want to teach my children about Atheism, Christianity, Buddhism, Islam, Judaism, etc. This way they can make an informed decision on the path they choose while remaining tolerant of others. I will support them to the best of my ability, hopefully with the encouragement of their loving father.
Finally, as for the holidays my plans are a little more radical. In my ideal world my future family would not celebrate Christmas at all. Christmas is a Christian holiday, if you do not believe that Jesus was born with all these crazy powers, why would you celebrate his birth? Celebrating birthdays of people I do not know (let alone some guy I don't believe ever existed) in not a routine I frequently practice. For those who do not denote themselves Christians I can see how it would be difficult to make Christmas not about the presents.
We are based on a consumerism society. My mom and I were out at Target yesterday (it's SEPTEMBER) and there was Christmas decorations for sale. Oh materialism, where did all your decorations from last year go? Adopt a family that needs a lot more than your children, show your children others boys and girls want coats to keep them warm in the winter and a warm meals to fill their empty stomachs... instead of plastic toys. I am going to plant a pine tree as soon as I settle into a house and hopefully assuming eight to ten years later we are still living in the same house I am going to let the children chop it down. Hopefully this will give them something to be proud of and a distraction from presents, also a great family composting project after Christmas. Smile.
I know it is going to be difficult avoiding the holiday season with children who see their friends sitting on Santa's lap and getting presents... but I am always up for a challenge. If their grandparents spoil them with gifts during the holidays, their will definitely be an after holiday donation/binge. I want my children to accept things that are different from their own beliefs, practice good morals, and be self-confident in who they are and where life is taking them. Of course, every parents probably wants that for their children.
"If there is one thing Christians can't tolerate, it's tolerance." (Unknown)
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