Live by Love

This past week I had the opportunity to meet up with three fellow volunteers, on two separate occasions. These were once the people I went to for friendship, looked up to for strength, and relied on for support. In the states, though, I already have a solid foundation. I am more comfortable turning to family and everyday friends... but regardless of how much they want to comprehend, it's nearly impossible for them to understand. Even now, I need fellow volunteers, I need them for understanding. These people... miles apart... get it; there is nothing to explain. They know my dirt because they lived through it with me.

A few months ago, I looked forward to these encounters. I even sought people out. This has all changed. Gathering will volunteers is emotionally draining for me as it highlights all I do not have going for me. Most of these people arrived home after me, and yet they are employed or in school, have solidified plans for the future, enjoy clean slates, places of their own, and new love.

They are not... so many things I am.

I will not throw my hands up in defeat; showing up is half the battle. My presence, dressed with courage,  will be noted at Peace Corps assemblages. These people are the backbone to freedom from my thoughts and often much more. Escaping my own baggage, listening to their stories and feeling 'in tune' with their lives is equally important. I am a witness to how far these individuals have come... and while it, again, so often frames all that I am missing, I cannot allow this to hold me back.

"Knowing someone's story cripples our ability to judge them. A story makes a 2D person 3D." (Jon Acuff)