Observations on Life

Lately I have been focused on the details in life. That's very weird for me. It originally started as a way to pick up on things I might want to add to my already three page packing list, notice the things I might miss while away and attempt to take advantage of them while I still have five weeks to wait. Blah, blah. The point is, I have come to a conclusion that has nothing to do with my future Peace Corp experience. The verdict is: the people we surround ourselves with tend to adversely affect our attitudes. Sure, you have all known that for quite sometime... but I learn by doing. Naturally this was something I had to witness for myself.

At home I noticed I rarely have bad days. I am constantly surrounded by children or out volunteering or bonding with the family. Children are some of the happiest people on the planet. I mean who would not love to have a constant playmate (me, the babysitter) and a playground with lots of toys. They are unware of anything going on in the world around them. Life is easy! Note to self: find a job that works with children or have children of your own someday. Volunteering is great because it gets me out, I meet crazy funny people, and I feel needed. Oh to be needed! The people I volunteer with are genuine and passionate people, definitely positive people to be around. As for the ones we serve, they are more than gracious. It's a mystery to me how they can remain so happy (at least on the surface) when they are dealing with so much! Note to self: do something that constantly introduces you to new things and people, help out those less fortunate than you. As for my family, they are about as laid back as you can get. Pops has a job, mom has perfected the 'hold down the fort' roll, C.D. lives the dream poor college student life, and C.A. has a million and two friends. Note to self: even though your family is not all about eating healthy and saving the world and living cheap (i.e. the exact same as me), be grateful you have a loving family.

This postcollege/predeparture life is vastly different from what I was used to over the past four years. In college the bad days outweighed the good. Do not get me wrong, I loved college life. I made lots of friends, the football weekends and basketball games were a blast, and the opportunities to make an impact were unlimited. I truly prefected the social (while still maintaining a purpose to life) lifestyle. The bad days were associated with prefect weather that I never took advantage of because I locked myself in a dungeon to study sort of days. Yes, the first few weeks of each semester were great but after that there is so much work. Study, study, study... there are weeks where I literally studied, worked, and went to meetings. That was never much fun! Maybe it was only my major? Doubtful! I am definitely not someone who had it all. When I chose social events my grades slipped and when I chose academics my mood slipped.

And then just when you think you have taken every test there is to take and mastered every task there is to master... your friend has a bad day (you can relate). Then you feel sorry for yourselves (probably more than necessary) and you just can't wait for the next best thing. My friends were not Debbie Downers by any means. It is the overall negative college atmosphere. We all chose (some more than others) to go to college yet none of us want to do the work for the degree. Not surprising, after all we live in lazy America. In Lesotho, my reading says youth quit when they do not pass to the next grade level or when they find other ways to make themselves useful. A big part of me thinks that is more efficient. Before you start barking, I know education is the key to success and our future relies on education. I am very aware! I just think if we can't handle the brunt of the work then we do not deserve to be there, and if we just keep passing children to the next grade level the education will be worthless.

Here is where I realize I can actually tie this into my 'next best thing.' The people I chose to bond with in Lesotho are going to have an impact on my mood and the way I chose to live. If all the volunteers are struggling it will probably not be a good idea to sit around with them and wallow. That did not work in college and it probably is not going to work a million miles away from friends and family. Yes, being their for your fellow volunteers (or peers--in any part of life is good) and letting them know you are sorry is important, but if you are doing fine... keep on keeping on. I was chosen along with 26 others to go to Lesotho and make a difference. Do I want them to think all Americans are weak and constantly depressed? Absolutely not. I want them to know that the American materials (processed overseas and sold in America kind of materials) in life make us depressed and things burden us. Okay, maybe that is only me, but you will not be traveling so I am representing America. Evil laugh.

I think my point got more blurry as I wrote. I am not sure if there even was a point. Sometimes there isn't a point to an observation, or a series of observations. Observing onward.