Sound Advice

My freshman science class does not like to listen or learn. I refuse to beat them so they are smart enough to realize there are very few consequences for their actions. How do you manage a class of 62 students ranging in age from 14 to 36? I finally got fed up with them today. The assignment: Write half a page on why you think it is okay to disrespect your teacher and classmates and how you are going to change your behavior so everyone has a fair chance to teach and learn.

One students response (exactly like it was written, with my commentary in italics):

Madame, I am very sorry to tell you that you handwriting is not good (there is a first time for everything), so you should try to write clear words (sometimes it is as easy a dotting the i’s, problem solved). And I do not hear some words when you are calling them (well, that is because YOU are talking). That is not to say I am making noise in the class no, some are making noise not all of us (I guess placing blame on others is a global trend). I did not understand some of topics you did with us because when you are teaching you are making noise (I am not sure how I am supposed to teach without making noise), so “PLEASE” try do explain again. My dear teacher (such a charmer). You should not write like you write poems (goodbye bullets), make long sentences (hello even slower motion). (I definitely appreciate the advice, unfortunately this was DEFINITELY NOT the assignment. Whenever students do not want to do my assignments, they make up their own. This way science, but especially in math. They change fractions to whole numbers, negative numbers to positive one, and division signs to multiplication. Makes grading a real blast!)

Classic.