Where do you draw the line?

I gave my first test last Thursday (02.17.10). Ideally, I would have given it much sooner; a month of math is a lot for an eight grade brain. Cultural norms say tests here are given monthly, and I am not about to stray from those. I was so excited to see how my students performed. It was going to be my first chance to see if they were really grasping the material.

Disaster 1: The test was prepared with 29 questions, 55 possible marks (points). I thought this was reasonable. The students were going to have 90 minutes to complete the test so I figured about three minutes a question was appropriate. Most of my students did not get past question 20. I felt so bad. Their cries of panic about how they were going to fail, ALL. MY. FAULT. Lesson Learned: No more than 15 questions for a 90 minute test. It will take a lot more work to make 15 well-developed questions that span across a month of material. Plan ahead.

Disaster 2: We have to write the tests with the other teachers in our subject (I suppose to standardize things as much as possible). I teach two of the three eight grade math classes. Due to the fact I am incredibly impatient, I allowed the other eight grade math teacher use my test. He “approved” of the test and gave it to his students as well. He is a student teacher, so I think he appreciated it, but he might be lacking the same experience in practicality I am. Lesson Learned: It is okay to ask for help and gather advice from other more experience teachers, even when they appear flustered and super busy.

Disaster 3: There are no computers at my school which means I had to write (more importantly fit) all 29 questions on the chalk board. The students start working as soon as I start writing questions which means my back was turned to them for 30 minutes while I wrote questions on the board. The chatter was kept to a minimum, and I want to believe the best. Sadly, we live in a results based world where true learning is often left at the door. There are some similarities to America. Lesson Learned: Now that I realize how slowly they work it is okay to pause after every question or so to peruse the aisles (not that I can fit down them).

Disaster 4: In the middle of one of my tests visitors from the Ministry of Education came to talk to the Orphans and Vulnerable Children (OVCs), which happened to be 36 of my 71 students. Ooops, definitely did not tell anyone I was giving a test today therefore they neglected to tell me the visitors were coming. Like everything in life, we made it work. Lesson Learned: Ask in advance, way in advance, about any upcoming events.

Disaster 5: Telling my students I would get their tests back to them the next day. I regret ever harping on a teacher/professor for not getting assignments back promptly. Until you are actually grading 137 math tests with 55 possible points each you can’t understand how much work goes into the process. Not to mention teaching also involves lesson planning and a multitude of other activities going on at school to take part in (Mushroom Demonstrations? Grants to write. Science labs to clean.). Oh a lets not forget my students who have atrocious handwriting copied the questions from the chalk board, following their train of thought with my very neat key is i.m.p.o.s.s.b.l.e. They write the questions like I receive your letters, one, six, three, fifteen, four, and twelve. (Rant: They do not number their problems. Tell them to number them. Yeah, I have. They do not understand this foreign concept. I admit defeat on this battle. How many different ways can you explain number the questions? And after seeing their results we should not be wasting any more class time on this matter!) When I was not in class I was marking, for four straight days. No socializing, no lesson planning, no lunch breaks, no reading, no letter writing, no fun. Lesson Learned: Make no promises. Way less questions=way less marking. Smile.

Disaster 6: The students performance. Sub-par, to put it nicely. This only makes me dislike teaching more. Out of total 137 students I had two students make an 87%, one make an 80%, one make a 72%, one make a 70%, and two make a 67%. Seven(!!!) students performed well(?) and after that the closest was a 51%. Lesson Learned: I have not decided between lower my expectation (a lot), or move even slower in class with even more examples.

This test made me realize that I am not going to be able to reach out to all of my students no matter how much I want to. All my life I have wondered why certain teachers cared so much. Now I understand. Despite my passionate hatred of teaching I hike to school to teach, day after day because that is what I came here to do. I put an ample amount of time into preparing my lessons, hoping to connect to my students and really drive the points home. I want everyone to do well. I want to believe in every one of them, give them a glimpse of hope. That’s impossible. I hate to use that term (especially so early), however, it is unrealistic. I may not be the best teacher. I know I am not the best teacher. I try really hard and someday all that trying is going to pay off. Oh pipe dreams.