True or False?

I burn bread. True. Here the bread cooks in grocery bags, imagine the smell of burnt plastic for days. I melt holes in countertops. True. When you boil eggs it is not okay to set the hot pot on the plastic counter. It melts and also releases burning plastic toxins. I forget baking powder when I cook scones. True. To think, I thought I was a decent baker. The 400 batches of chocolate chip cookies A.L.R.L. and I made should have given me some practice. Scones aren’t cookies. Dutch ovens are not ovens. There is a patch of arm hair missing on my left arm due to improperly lighting my gas stove. True. Light the match, and then turn on the stove. Lesson(s) learned. I made some zucchini slop not even the starving dogs would touch. True. I hate being the “rich, white American” who puts food out for the flowers. Another true story. When I disposed of my zucchini slop I thought I hid it well. Later that night my well-educated host mother approached me to inquire, “Why are you feeding the flowers?” I knew exactly what she was talking about. I thought I hid the slop well. Umm, I was actually hiding that from you. My face turning bright red, my brain frantically coming up with excuses. I replied, “the dogs must have dragged it from the pile.” Her reply, “You know it is pretty bad if the dogs in Lesotho won’t even touch it after a day in the flowers.” I am well aware.

How did I make it to 22? Most days, I wonder that too. I have come to realize the first 18 years for I lived in a house with two gourmet chefs. Year 19 those same gourmet chefs paid a ridiculous amount for me to eat cereal and peanut butter on bagels out of the dining hall. Years 20-22 breakdown: I spent too much money at Moes, made/held onto friends that know how and enjoy cooking (& sharing!!!), and I inhaled processed goodness!

Major Problems: cooking for one, no refrigerator/freezer, no oven, no microwave, no processed food, no restaurants. I like a challenge. I haven’t given up yet.