Funny Questions

To make my list of funny questions the question had to be asked at least five times (by different people). These are common questions, with some of my responses.

1. Who is Isaac Newton? Sadly, all I know about him is he is responsible for Newton’s Laws. I am not positive what those are, but if I had to put money on it I think they have to do something with force. Physics never was my strong point. Oh textbooks, better yet, internet!
2. Can you say “mother fucker” in front on an adult? Definitely not! I probably would not say that in front of anyone. I stick to other choice words. Yay, media influence.
3. What is improper English?
4. Do you have AIDS? They think the “white people” brought AIDS to Africa, only because they did not know of it until “white people” showed up to help. Sigh.
5. How did you get here (to Lesotho)? This question blows my mind. In America if the distance is far enough it is assumed one flew and for closer distances the assumption is one drove. My school looks out at an airport runway, and it BLOWS their mind I flew here. They will swear to you all day and night I drove here. Actually, I crossed this major ocean… requiring alternative transport.
6. How IS you? I am by no means a grammar girl (probably did not even have to tell those of you reading)… but for some reason this question, more specifically how it is asked, annoys me. Of course, I probably butcher Sesotho all day and night so who am I to talk about their attempt at English.
7. Are you a virgin?
8. Where are you going? Or where are you coming from? In America we would find it obnoxious and creepy if a total stranger (or everyone you encounter, which is several people on a 45 minute walk to school) wanted to know where we were going and coming from. These questions are part of the normal greeting here. I usually am coming from Mars and going to the [nonexistent] train station.
9. Can I use a Simba wrapper (think Ziploc bag) as a condom?
10. Do you know (insert celebrity here)? No!!!
11. Are their Basotho in America? I am sure there are. In fact, I know of at least one. My host mother’s son lives in New York(!!!). Follow up question: But, your president is Basotho and so it that guy (Tyshawn Taylor) hanging in your hut? They are black, you are correct. Yes, there are black people in America. Sadly, the Basotho know very little about diversity. You are a la-hoo-ah (white person), Basotho (black person), or ma-china (anything of Asian decent).
12. In American, what village do you live in?
13. Do you eat blood? I may read novels about vampires, but I’m not one. I thought this question stemmed from my recent reading of the Twilight series, which I proceeded to lend to one of my teachers. Nope, according to my teachers some Basotho do indeed eat (or drink) blood from sheep. I was not kidding when I said NOTHING goes to waste.