Onwards

Today I find myself in an exceptionally fantastic mood. I am not sure if it's the gorgeous fall weather, spending time with a friend over the weekend, or a successful attempt to live a more Zen-like life. It doesn't matter. What matters is in the present moment I am happy and happy is where I'd prefer to stay.

I reached this place after having the Peace Corps Lesotho door slammed in my face. At first it was as though Peace Corps stood true to their words, making me a number one priority (both here in DC and in Lesotho). That wasn't a request, it was something I have been told countless times as I walk into Peace Corps Headquarters. The medevac phase of this process was handled beautifully. It wasn't the actual news I wouldn't be returning that felt as though it was the end, or maybe it was and it took me several weeks to process. Instead it was more the conversation I had with a close friend (in Lesotho) who seemed like I was holding him up. There were anger and tears, lots and lots of tears. The conversations with volunteers still in country seem to occur less frequently and be generally more distant. If our paths cross again, I know we will reunite. For now, I'm stepping back to take a break from all those ties.

All of this prepared me for today when I got the Khotso, the monthly Peace Corps Lesotho newsletter in my inbox. It always begins with a letter from the country director. In this one she mentions in October there were a lot of coming and goings. She mentions by names the four volunteers who closed their service (finished), the two who early terminated (quit), and the seven medevacs who returned to country. My name wasn't mentioned anywhere. This would have been heartbreaking if the door hadn't already been shut. Lesotho wasn't forever. Yes, it ended way sooner than I would have liked, but it was always temporary. Closing one chapter and preparing for the next is never fun, especially when it's not a fairy tale.

BUT I am excited for the next chapter, and every chapter after that.