Miserable Monday

...or my first real taste of life as a Basotho? Monday was the first day of school and I was so excited to actually begin teaching. I arrived promptly at 7:45 AM after a 45 minute walk as requested by my principal. It turns out, the students do not actually come to school on the first day. Monday, was simply a day allowing the teachers to get "organized." Boy, do they need it! No big deal, we were going to have a meeting at 8:00 AM and then a full day of scheming. Scheming is essentially busy work. Mind you, on the "first day of school" I still did not know exactly what level of math, science, lifeskills I would be teaching. Instead teaching, having a meeting, or scheming I sat staring at a blank wall listening to the other teachers speak in a language I can't fully comprehend yet, for six and a half hours. To of no fault but my own I did not have a book, paper to write letters, of anything else to keep me occupied. NEVER will I make that mistake again.

Three hours in I found out exactly what I was going to be teaching. Math to all the eight graders, lifeskills "if I want" during blank periods, and no science. I am not really sure why my school requested another volunteer. They seem to be well staffed in my area. I started to fret, if this is all I am teaching... why am I here, what will I do, blah, blah. After a few hours and a little bit of thinking, I concluded that it will be nice to only teach "half" a day. I am still not convinced teaching is sustainable so it will give me time to work on other projects I find more sustainable. Things like bringing a library to the school, starting a pigery, helping find science equipment, or maybe even hunting down some computers. There is plenty to do, it will just be a matter of meeting the right people. Luckily, I live with a progressive Basotho woman who can hopefully assist.

The day (by 11:00 AM) had been a real let down. Coming here I wanted to be better at living in the moment, more at peace with life, and here I sat reflecting. First, I could not wait for training to end. Then, I wanted school to start. Now, I actually want to do something. Soon it will be, I can't wait to visit another volunteer. I was frustrating myself. I ate lunch, a good waste of 20 minutes... and quickly began to shed my first African tears. Wow, I am pathetic. Am I really going to give up this easily?

By 2:30 PM the meeting had finally started. Oh and I had not been lesson planning those past couple of hours because there were no text books or a syllabus in sight... and I can't really remember what exactly I learned in 8th grade. The meeting lasted three hours. Thankfully, the staff actually spoke in English. After, listening to them babble in Sesotho all morning I was really worried. I could have lead the meeting in 45 minutes. It was that pointless. The Basotho have NO SENSE OF ACCOUNTABILITY (you have not heard that before), they are so non-confrontational, and they are NOT problem solvers. We lingered on topics of failing students, no money for the school, and "clashes" in the schedule for the entire meeting. I could tell you my opinions and answers to all those problems, but it probably would not come off very culturally sensitive so I will wait until my emotions have subsided.

On my 45 minute walk home I did come across my "sister" so it was nice to be able to talk to her. She speaks hardly any English and my Sesotho is still minimal so we laughed a lot. Very healthy.

This probably does not sound like a miserable day. To me, it was. I realized today I am a major venter. Talking to friends, role models, or my parents when I have a rough day really helps me release and move forward. Well, none of those people are here. I was alone.

No one told me it was going to be easy.