- 10 minutes in she announced a recent death*
- 15 minutes in she told me I was thin**
- 60 minutes in she questioned my relationship with a friend who happens to be a boy***
- 89 minutes in she asked how my wedding planning was coming****
- 132 minutes in she proclaimed I had 23 months until I should be married*****
- 238 minutes in she started a sentence with “Let me tell you which friends of yours I find strange…”******
- 275 minutes in she requested I clarify my “recent” stance on religion.*******
- 300 minutes the berating stopped for the remained of the visit.********
*Old people thing?
**This is no compliment. Apparently my weight fluctuates with her mood. Last time, at the exact same weight, I was fat.
***Grandma is convinced J.W.M. is my Prince Charming. The way he selflessly swooped in, putting his Peace Corps efforts on hold, to fly this Princess to the homeland has forever earned him heroic praise. I do my best to beat J.W.M. down in the eyes of my at times delusional Grandma. First off, he is Jewish. And she has photographic evidence. Secondly, he is tatted up with the most meaningless tattoos.
****Particularly fascinating since I am not even entertaining the prospect of a boy in my life right now... or ever.
*****Here is too hoping, Grandma!
******Sorry friends I happen to like a whole bunch, you are all entirely flawed.
*******During which conversation, she interrupted to informed me she used to be proud of me. I must have done something right at one point.
********False.
*********I love my grandma dearly, possibly more so than you adore yours, simply because I am a competitive person. And I feel superior when my love for someone exceeds your love for that equal.
LOVE this!
ReplyDeleteIf she were an innocent 8 year old people might say "out of the mouths of babes" regarding her candid and honest questions & comments. At 89, I think people would say she has earned her right to say whatever is on her mind-- no filter needed :-)
Hope you got some good pictures from your visit.
xo