Losing Sleep

I could not sleep. I could not sleep. I could not sleep. Could not sleep. Could not not not sleep. I.Simply.Could.Not.Sleep. Then no sleep became normal. I adjusted. Or managed. And life went on not sleeping ever after. For me, it was 21 months before I began to sleep normally. I still have my sketchy nights. And the nightmares linger from week to week... but mostly I sleep.

So I sleep. I sleep. I sleep, sleep, sleep. I sleep about four to nine hours each night. I sleep and sleep more because I cannot possibly fill that 'rest bar' with enough sleep. Then... last night... no sleep.

Not more than two hours, all dispersed in seven minute increments throughout the five hour night. But this was different, entirely polar opposite, could not have been more opposite. Last night, I could not sleep because I was incredibly excited. Like I cannot even explain.

I try to avoid future talk on my blog, because I bore witness to a drastic life plan interruption just when I thought I ruled the world. But tonight, I do not care. Or I am trying not to care. I am actually anxious with excitement. There are so many electrifying things on my horizon; I am nearly paralyzed. That is not even me being me--dramatic.