A Night On. A Weekend Off.

I made plans this weekend to visit a friend in Philadelphia, PA, but after consecutive nights of next to no sleep, I decided to bail on my plans... and straight jacket myself to a couch in hopes I could relax. It was not two seconds after I said this out loud to my mom, under the impression she would call me out if I strayed from my plans, I got a call from a neighbor inviting me to hang out with her and her munchkins while her husband was out of town. We headed to the playground to soak up some good weather. C.R.M showed off her monkey bar skills while O.D.M. ran wildly--100% boy. After a brief walk on the nature trail where we spotted deer, spiders, a gopher, and many squirrels we went for dinner at the fancy grocery store. Turns out, Friday nights movies are played for children, so S.J.M. and I chatted while the  kiddos watched Balto, some film that must be from the 1980s because I have certainly never heard about it. Past the bedtime of two tired children, we rushed them home (and to bed) and continued our cellphone-less conversation into the early morning hours.

This is a nontraditional post. There is no life lesson here. No cheesy metaphor to be had. But there was an incredibly honest conversation with a woman I respect, filled with words I need to hear and wanted to share.

Losing Sleep

I could not sleep. I could not sleep. I could not sleep. Could not sleep. Could not not not sleep. I.Simply.Could.Not.Sleep. Then no sleep became normal. I adjusted. Or managed. And life went on not sleeping ever after. For me, it was 21 months before I began to sleep normally. I still have my sketchy nights. And the nightmares linger from week to week... but mostly I sleep.

So I sleep. I sleep. I sleep, sleep, sleep. I sleep about four to nine hours each night. I sleep and sleep more because I cannot possibly fill that 'rest bar' with enough sleep. Then... last night... no sleep.

Not more than two hours, all dispersed in seven minute increments throughout the five hour night. But this was different, entirely polar opposite, could not have been more opposite. Last night, I could not sleep because I was incredibly excited. Like I cannot even explain.

I try to avoid future talk on my blog, because I bore witness to a drastic life plan interruption just when I thought I ruled the world. But tonight, I do not care. Or I am trying not to care. I am actually anxious with excitement. There are so many electrifying things on my horizon; I am nearly paralyzed. That is not even me being me--dramatic.

Say What?

On Tuesday, I returned from a long weekend trip to Michigan. My grandparents are old… and aging. Tomorrow, Grandpa will be 88. And come the 23rd of September, Grandma will celebrate her 89th year! To give you an idea of what I was up against, I thought I would share a few Grandma-statistics from the early hours of my visit. 

• 10 minutes in she announced a recent death*
• 15 minutes in she told me I was thin**
• 60 minutes in she questioned my relationship with a friend who happens to be a boy***
• 89 minutes in she asked how my wedding planning was coming****
• 132 minutes in she proclaimed I had 23 months until I should be married*****
• 238 minutes in she started a sentence with “Let me tell you which friends of yours I find strange…”******
• 275 minutes in she requested I clarify my “recent” stance on religion.*******
• 300 minutes the berating stopped for the remained of the visit.********

And we all lived happily ever after. The end.*********

*Old people thing?

**This is no compliment. Apparently my weight fluctuates with her mood. Last time, at the exact same weight, I was fat.

***Grandma is convinced J.W.M. is my Prince Charming. The way he selflessly swooped in, putting his Peace Corps efforts on hold, to fly this Princess to the homeland has forever earned him heroic praise. I do my best to beat J.W.M. down in the eyes of my at times delusional Grandma. First off, he is Jewish. And she has photographic evidence. Secondly, he is tatted up with the most meaningless tattoos.

****Particularly fascinating since I am not even entertaining the prospect of a boy in my life right now... or ever.

*****Here is too hoping, Grandma!

******Sorry friends I happen to like a whole bunch, you are all entirely flawed.

*******During which conversation, she interrupted to informed me she used to be proud of me. I must have done something right at one point.

********False.

*********I love my grandma dearly, possibly more so than you adore yours, simply because I am a competitive person. And I feel superior when my love for someone exceeds your love for that equal.