Sometimes Not

I am in this waiting place, hoping for a lightning bolt moment where the summary statement of events from the past couple weeks come to me. I really, really like neat little packages with a lesson at the end. Increasingly, I am traveling down these paths where it just is not quite that simple.

So that’s right. I used to judge your blog. I sat smugly on my couch, looked at your blog for the second time in two weeks and you had not posted anything! I mean, what else were you doing with your life? Probably living it. In my world, that was not allowed. You owed it to this devoted follower, to post - regularly. I find that it is perfectly OK for me to judge your blog, but I do not appreciate your snippy thoughts about my blog. I have been on this journey of blog writing, sometimes writing every week, sometimes not for more than three years. Right now, it is a season of “sometimes not” documenting. I am having trouble writing about life in general because I want to share meaningful events, but I am full of a lot of loose ends right now. (I am finding this is not a horrible thing.) It is not because I do not have thoughts. Oh believe me I do! Again, I am not really sure what they all mean. I have not processed and worked through them enough to write about them on a blog. I am a bit of a perfectionist and so I am refuse to write about something until I can wrap my mind around it satisfactorily.

All of this is to say, I’ve stopped judging you, my fellow bloggers. I now understand that not all thoughts are able to be worked out in 300 words or less and that is OK. It is actually a good thing because lets face it, life is complicated, busy, and incomprehensible at times and we need to be able to rest in spite of the chaos. I need to dispel my compulsion to know and fully understand everything immediately (and then blog about it).

I am still going to post from time to time, but more sporadically than before. Let the judging begin!