Typical

I had my first official post typed out all about some fun Lesotho Adventures and then I got to the internet cafe only to land on a computer without a working jump drive outlet. Bummer. I will try and add it on the 6th of January! Happy New Year to all! I miss you guys a lot!

I Made It!

I made it to Lesotho. I have been here for more than three weeks and I absolutely love it. This is my first time on the internet; I'm not ignoring your emails. I only sprung for 15 minutes of Internet right now. I made it through most of the emails; I promise responses in the near-ish future. Everything I have learned about the country thus far has amazed and delighted me. I am happy, healthy, and safe.  I love you all. I miss each one of you tons. I appreciate the time everyone has taken to email me.  In the words of a Basotho, sala hantle (stay well). 

Staging

I only have a few minutes to update so pardon the inevitable bad grammar.

It was a really long day! After a three hour drive to Philadelphia, a little sight seeing (the Liberty Bell and the outside of Independence Hall), and a Philly Cheese Steak it was time to officially say goodbye to Mom and Pops. When they left I checked in (to the Peace Corps--took an hour!!!), met some volunteers, and officially moved in status from invitee to trainee. This was followed by four long hours of orientation. It was nice to finally meet some people who have been going through this incredibly lengthy and tedious process. I am anxious to see what friendships form! The night concluded with dinner and drinks on the town.

As I type, I am avoiding sleep because in two hours we have to be checked out of the hotel and on a bus to JFK; we depart at 10:40 AM tomorrow! Hooray--I am super excited! Everyone I have interacted with thus far has been nice, though, I am a little overwhelmed by the volunteer 'over-the-top' thought out mentality. To clue you in: several volunteers are saran wrapping their backpacks to avoid being robbed. Creative?

This quote was given to us during staging, "You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, if I have lived through this challenge, I can take the next thing that comes along." (Eleanor Roosevelt) Appropriate?

Side note: I learned Chris Matthews is a returned Peace Corps Volunteer.

If you never ask, you'll never know!

I am a breathing violation of all things: dress code.  The Peace Corp informed me sometime ago that I would be required to wear a skirt or dress (mid calf to ankle length) everyday to work. Great, because I own so many of these!   Not to mention, avoiding the working world dress code is why I wanted to be a Park Ranger or establish a "career" in rural Africa!  I will see to it that that statement is a joke!  Despite Pops arguing that there has been numerous studies to confirm that people are more productive in professional dress, it's not for me.  And especially not for me in Africa.  I understand dressing conservatively and not offending the locals.  I am 100% on board with that.  

Ask anyone who knows me, they would tell you I am dressed up if I am not in t-shirt/long sleeve t-shirt format. I am most productive in my jeans/hoodie/chacos or running shorts/t-shirt/tennis shoes.  Comfort breeds productivity in me.  It allows to me study my plants hard, whiz in and out of meetings, get messy painting while hanging out with munchkins, and clean the house.  As long as I am not disrespectful, my traditional clothing will allow me to be the best secondary math teacher I can be. 

And we all know I like my opinion heard... we shall see who wins this war!    

A terrible, horrible, no good, very bad packer

I am going to go ahead and whine and complain and tell you packing was the worst part of this year long Peace Corp process. I have yet to determine why packing posed such a challenge. Was it the fact that I am a naturally light packer and usually dependent on over-packing friends (who won't be traveling) if I forget something? Not knowing how much (OF EVERYTHING) to actually take? Or was my materials-do-not-matter-mindset throwing me off? All are probably contributing factors. I thought I would include a few pictures to clue you in on the madness.   

We get to bring a 100 pounds (including carry ons), which I think is pretty generous. Someone, somewhere along the way highly encouraged bringing a backpacking backpack. Check, I own this (thanks to a friend). Purchase a L.L. Bean XL bag and along with the pack you are good (my little brain thought). Of course not! Each bag can only contain 50 pounds (only God knows why--probably stupid airlines!). Therefore it makes perfect sense that I have a XL bag with plenty of space to spare and only 82 total pounds packed... leaving 18 pounds left behind because the XL bag is maxed out at 50 pounds (and my considerably small backpacking backpack is full).

If nothing else, it was a start to my new patient lifestyle. Packing, unpacking, repacking. Repeat four times. I do not care if all Peace Corp experiences are different, surely someone could recommend a number of skirts to bring, how much toothpaste to pack, or tell me if a $100 solar charger is actually worth it. I am going to go out of my way to help the PC issue a more number friendly packing list. Making changes... it's what I do best.

After two full days I have come to the conclusion that less truly will be more in Lesotho.

My Rocks

I really wanted to recap the fabulous trip to my alma mater, but the more I got to typing, the more I realized what I did while I was gone was not nearly as important as who I did it with! At the risk of being terribly cheesy, this statement is so incredibly true.

We laughed, cried, listened attentively, and counseled tenderly.

• C.J.R.--You are not afraid to change your mind! You are so fun and full of life. You always come prepared with a good story.  Your ability to maintain relationships is admirable!  
• H.C.O.--I am so proud of you!  You have the ability to take lemons and make lemonade. You are always thinking, planning, and preparing for the next thing... yet somehow remain in the moment.  
• J.L.W.--You truly are one of a kind!  We are very different and much the same. You are a great counter to my loud personality.  You are an amazing listener, chef/cupcake maker, and incredibly intelligent.  I envy your ability to live and let go.
• J.M.S.--You are not afraid to follow your heart.  You are more motivated and determined than anyone I know.  You are always incredibly put together and you have a heart of gold!  I truly believe you know who you are and have not let society sway you!
• K.F.A.--You are an incredible friend!  You are organized and on top of life!  I love our shared envision for change in this world.  Stay level headed!  You are going to be a doctor for all the right reasons! 
• K.N.K.--There will never be another person who shares my obsession with planet earth as much as you do!  You are extremely self confident, so down to earth, a regular Miss Independent.  Your relationship with your family is desirable!  
• M.E.S.--You have the biggest heart of anyone I know!  You have an uncanny ability to make others happy!  Please, do something for yourself when you graduate!  

I get by with a little help from my friends (John Lennon)!  I am anxious to see where the next two plus years of life takes them.  Hopefully it will take a few of them to Africa!  One can dream!

"Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think!" (A. A. Milne) 

I'm (mentally) Ready!

All last week I spent hanging out with close friends at my alma mater.  Being back in a college setting with all my friends who have managed to either pick up an extra year or were behind to begin with was a blast!  Talking on the phone and emailing does not do justice for being in the presence of my favorite people!  In all of the fun I still felt out of place.  People have moved on and even if things are still mostly the same they felt different.  Instead of being the girl who crashed on their couches, I was a guest.  I felt like even if I put on a backpack and cruised around the campus on foot people would still be able to tell I did not belong.  I enjoy being comfortable in my surrounding.  That place used to be comfortable.  How can all that change in a matter of months?

Post-college is a strange time to say the least.  I currently live at home where food is cooked for me each night, bathrooms are cleaned regularly, and everyone is settled into bed by ten each night.  For the past four years I was totally independent (from my family) and completely dependent on friends and professors.  I ate dinner with friends anytime between five and nine, studied with them into the wee hours of the night, laid on their couches when I was sick, help them through trouble or was helped through trouble myself, and traveled with them (to new destinations or various hometowns).  My friends were such an integral part of my life.  Do not get me wrong, they are still very important to me... but distance takes its toll on people!  

Walking across a stage to receive a degree should be such a proud moment, instead it left me feeling empty.  It was time for change.  I am not ready, I do not feel prepared, I am so content with where and who I am.  Living in secure limbo (oxymoron?  definitely not!) the past five months and taking a final trip to a now seemingly uncomfortable place makes me more than positive I am ready for the challenge Lesotho is going to offer.  While my friends are busy finishing up their undergraduate and masters degrees or working desk jobs I will be in a hopefully more than perfect place for me.  I have been nothing but satisfied with my life so far, but it is past time to give back to someone else what so many have given to me.  

I can't really capture the exact emotion I am feeling.  More words will just dull the point.  

Goodbye Georgia

In order to say goodbye to C.D. I made the ten and a half hour drive down to potential graduate school number five, University of Georgia.  The long weekend was wonderful... football, hiking, friends, late nights, movies, and irregular eating schedules.  Oh to be in college, without the work!  Bliss.  

As always it was incredibly good to see him and be back at one of the best colleges around.  Even with zero dollars in his bank account I am planning to expect him in Lesotho around June 2010.  Thank you World Cup for playing in South Africa in 2010.  Thank you Peace Corp for placing me in Lesotho.  Much appreciated.  

The greatest part about C.D. is there is no plan or order for anything... and while his friends may think I have my life together, in my opinion the day-to-day lifestyle C.D. flows with seems a lot more appealing.  

I miss you already and I have not even left.  This is bad.  See you in Lesotho!

Happy Halloween

Of course I wanted to post about Halloween on October 31, but spending time on the internet in the presence of good friends made no sense at all. Posting now. 

You would be shocked to know Halloween definitely falls at the bottom of the list when it comes to holidays worth celebrating--right next to Christmas and Birthdays. Mentioned earlier, I was visiting close friends over the Halloween weekend so there were no excuses, a costume was in order. I was going to go with my favorite idea: a ceiling fan. It's funny, it's comfortable, it's classic, it's cheap, and it's inanimate. The explanation: Write ceiling on the front of a white shirt, a name (of an athlete or yourself) on the back, along with a number... and voila! You're a ceiling fan. If you are into spending money props and want to complete the outfit, carry a pom pom or a megaphone--go Ceilings!   

This year I was not a ceiling fan. Either my friends lack the intelligence to understand the costume or they do not think it is funny. I can't understand. Instead I went as Bookface (thanks to E.J.R., a dedicated Office fan). Similar to the ceiling fan this costume is funny, cheap (copying always is), and comfortable. I got to wear a tshirt downtown(!!!) and Chacos. The costume was a huge hit. My dear friend, K.F.A. even made me a real wall to carry around! People were signing it all night. Oh to be popular!  

All other 364 four days of the year people tell me I am different and unique, so yet another year goes by where I fail to understand why if I am 'one of a kind' I can't just be myself on Halloween. I also fail to understand why I am the "only" one who seems to have firmly planted my foot down when it comes to purchasing a costume for one night, decorations for one day, or one hundred pounds of candy. Ehh... consumerism.

One Week

After all this waiting it is hard to believe one week from today I will head to Philadelphia for Staging.  My itinerary for Staging includes checking in at 1 PM on November 10, 2009, orientation and more shots from 3-7 PM, sleeping until we leaving for John F. Kennedy Airport (New York, New York) at 2 AM, and departing JFK at 10:30 AM for a nonstop (!!!) flight to Johannesburg, South Africa arriving at 8:30 AM on November 12 (South African time)!  Details, details.

There are only a few other mini-updates from the last time I wrote.

I officially said goodbye to all my friends and distant family (plus C.D.).  There will be no more travel, just a week of rest and relaxation.  Saying goodbye was a lot harder than I imagined.  My friends are all incredible people.  Not seeing them for 27 months seems like torture.  I have faith in our friendships (and bets on who will visit)! Thank you guys and gals for everything. You mean the world to me!

I had my first press release. Semi-exciting?

Packing: I might have mentioned I get to bring an extra 50 pounds (total=100 pounds) because Lesotho is considered a cold weather country! That is good news, although the task still seems a little daunting.  In the words of the Peace Corp the mail in Lesotho is "fairly reliable," leaving loving parents to mail whatever gets left behind.  Obviously, the ideal case is to fit everything I need into a suitcase.  Along with my faith in my friendships, I have faith that my minimalist self(s?) ability to pack two years of life into a suitcase.  I have said it once, and I will say it again... things truly are a burden.     

This week I will be mailing out my blog address to those who might be interested, I will update Facebook to contain my address and other important information, and write letters to each of my dear friends... along with making an uncountable number of phone calls, one last trip the free clinic, and one last night of babysitting.  

That is it for updates!  Peace.

The Title: Max & Mom

The Author: Pops--a passion for writing who is looking for a new spark.

The Setting: Our Virginia Home

The Characters:

1. Max--the sweet, loving basset hound with allergies to life, no eyesight, and zero control of bladder constriction or bowel movements.
2. Mom--the woman who takes full responsibly for this basset case of a dog.

The Plot: The captivating novel tells they mystery behind a day in the life of these two. Some might question their mental stability. The main human character is forced to sneak out of the house to save the remaining family members left at home from unstoppable barking tantrums (caused by absence of her). When she returns home the barking eases, but the Pedigree has been digested and deposited on her brand new rug (or left as little presents on each stair). No one can help this crazy dog, only his mom-ma. The lady who bathes, walks, feeds, and delivers daily dosages of medicine to this adorable old pup seems to be the only hope. Will she crack with frustration or will Max allow others to step in?

This plot sounds vaguely similar to a best selling book or big screen hit, Marley and Me, but you are terribly confused. This story is a mystery behind the insanity in a day with these two.

Blogging Blues

Can you really blog about what you want? No, not really. You always have to think about who might be reading that piece of writing the blogging world calls a post. I do not want to offend anyone on my blog. At the same time I want to be free to write about whatever comes to mind. I want to write about my opinions, the backwards place we call home, topics people think are taboo, and anything else that comes to mind. I wish I had all the answers to all the problems we have in this world. Then maybe I could take a problem/solution approach.  Instead I am left with another problem to which I am longing for a solution. Ehh.

On the other hand blogging has been a really good outlet. My friends are great outlets too but soon they will be even farther away.  Blogging also lets you get everything out without being interrupted. Plus, someday it might be fun to go back and read what was on my mind on October 25, 2009.  

I am not sure who reads this blog.  For all I know, no one does.  That might be better.  I hate this proofreading business.  I know, I know... I am failing miserably!  However, try to imagine if I did not attempt to proofread at all.  You would die if you knew how I spelled some words without the help of spell check.  I am just not comfortable in the writing department.  I probably never will be... so maybe I should get over this fear.  

Blogging is weird. It's like a journal, but it's not. I started this blog for the purpose of keeping everyone as up to date as possible in Africa. I got carried away and started immediately, arguing it was to make sure I knew how to publish a post or upload a picture.  I think those things are mastered (in the sense I can do them). How well? Not very.  The more I write, the more I worry.  I am extremely sarcastic.  Most of my ranting is sarcasm. I take the issues seriously, but not myself. I do not want to be taken the wrong way.  Tread lightly.  

Now I am left wondering if I will even keep this up in Africa. The negatives seem to outweigh the positives. I will probably continue to second guess half the posts I do publish. I am not forcing anyone to read this so I guess I should not worry. Post high school it's unlike me to truly be affected about others (minus the people I actually care about) perspectives of me. A very new and strange feeling... brought on by blogging of all things!  

Guilt, you can't beat me!

There is not going to be a final post in this "series" on guilt. Big deal. Writing has definitely started lifting the burden a little. For those of you who care, oh it feels so good! Unfortunately (or fortunately), I am realizing my guilt all ties into my ultimate problem of holding myself to incredibly high standards. I can't be prefect but I sure can try.

Along with holding myself to incredibly high standards, I am insanely competitive. Maybe those two go hand in hand? I will race anyone up the stairs, go to great lengths to beat a friend on a test, or do the most flips underwater at the pool. It does not matter who or what it is, I will be the best competitor I can be. Few people would argue that winning and succeeding does not feel good. And in this wonderful country, next to connections, being a competitor gets you places.

Thanks to a friend who recommended the words from this advice friendly blog, "Guilt can be avoided in most cases by making thoughtful choices and feeling confident in whatever decision you make." How very true. I am typically a confident person and I enjoy being competitive. And as always, life goes on regardless of how "paralyzing the guilt" may seem.

Practicing Patience

On Wednesday I babysat for the "last" time in what I imagine will be quite some time. Mind you last is in quotes because I am nearly positive I will find some time to babysitting again before I actually leave. Children are fascinating hysterical little beings. I truly love babysitting. They have their own dictionaries and perspectives on life. I will miss all my kiddos and our one-on-one time dearly in Lesotho.

Most days I have all the patience in the world with children. When worlds like all, always, never are used there is typically an exception. That is definitely true for my patience. Some days I amaze myself with the abundance of patience I have with children and other days those little minds truly are a test of my patience. I have little patience with others (my age and older)... especially with the slow, impractical, selfish people (myself included). Unknowingly, children are usually all of the three. My patience is rooted from the understanding these messy creatures have only been on the earth five years or 28 months. They need to be taught, and loved, and have good examples of better ways to channel their frustration. As the babysitter I am the teacher and friend, the person they hug when they fall down, or someone who hands them pudding and tells them to finger paint.

It's the days I struggle with patience that burdens me with guilt. Not using the nicest tone, expecting too much, and getting easily annoyed when those little ears are in ignore mode. I already told you not to color on the wall five times today, please stop and use the paper I put out! What don't you understand? Let's work through this. I am not sure what the best strategy is for handling children on their off days (or my off days). There is such a fine line when disciplining others children. Plus, it is so much more fun to be the nice babysitter... letting children climb up slides when no one else is in line. However, when there are other children crowding the playground... I have to switch into supervisor mode, which is not nearly as fun. Oh and did I mention how confusing that probably is to a two year old child who is sometimes allowed to go up and down but other times only down. Yikes, I brought this on myself.

I am sure this is something all parents (and babysitters) struggle with. The guilty feeling of always saying 'no' or 'stop' when we are annoyed eats me alive. It seems especially frustrating to me because I want to be the perfect babysitter, and I am paid to do a good job. Loosing it over spilled milk (oh, wasted resources) never got anyone anywhere.

Gratitude and Guilt

Guilt has been weighing me down lately. The next three post are going to be about all my guilt... hopefully writing will lift things off my chest a tad!

One of my biggest sources of guilt lately comes from the amount of time and money my parents (and others) have spent helping me prepare for Lesotho. You might say, they are you parents ... it's their job. I hear you. Yet every time my parents hand their debit card to the cashier I get this sick feeling in my stomach. Why are they able to afford this? Why am I so lucky? Guilt, guilt, guilt. I am a college graduate although they are still co-owners of my bank account (required by the Peace Corp), I am covered on their health insurance until the day I leave, and they have let me inhabit their house for an extended stay. Instead of accepting a high paying job I am off on a high paying experience. It seems selfish.

Part of me thinks I should not feel guilty and accept the they are your parents excuse. I have definitely spent my fair share of money buying things I will probably be able to get for a fourth of the price in Lesotho and investing in items I definitely won't be able to purchase a sixteen hour plane ride away from home. So it's not like they have paid for everything or they are the only ones investing time, except this job/experience/trip is for me. I should be the soul provider to my own experience. It is not just my parents time I stole, past "employers" spent their free time proofreading essays, writing recommendations, and purchasing me an awesome pocket knife!

My parents pay for the boring stuff: 50 dollars in batteries, deodorant for two plus years, clean undergarments. I am more than thankful and appreciative. How can I ever show my gratitude? My mom keeps telling me I am going to miss three years of Christmas, two birthdays, and all the random gifts in between. She definitely knows how I feel about Christmas and birthday so there should be no obligation to pre-purchase gifts for these occasions especially since I do not think I am going to be able to send gifts home. Oh and she refuses to think about the chunk of money shipping it will cost to ship things I request over to Lesotho.

I have always been extremely cheap with my own money. Other cheap people I have encountered usually have no problem spending someone elses money. Not me. If my parents give me money for food and I have five dollars left over I feel obligated to give it back. All of my friends and my own two brothers consider that profit. I have definitely kept my fair share of five dollars... except instead of spending them I usually donate them. Last year my roommate and I teamed up around Christmas time to support a local charity. This year I have not made my call, I am thinking about the LC Free Clinic. The monetary donation I make usually consists of whatever I collect from my parents times two, I match whatever I collect. It would be a tad selfish to make a donation in my name with all my parents money. I am not perfect, some of that money definitely goes straight in my pocket for my next Moe's outing.

In my cheapness for all I love trying to save for others too (especially my mom)! I find pleasure teaching her when it is good to stock up and when it is bad. Cutting coupons, helping maximize. She is naturally a pretty good spender and actually a decent coupon user, but she is all about connivence. That being said she probably gets super annoyed when I make her return $3.24 worth of notebooks to Target or make her return batteries and then jump over to Costco because I found a better deal. I feel like I am enforcing my ways upon her. Plus, she paid for the batteries with her own money. I am guessing she does not care about getting the extra four batteries at Costco for the same price.

I did not really touch on the time. Rest assured they have spent way over their fair share of time planning, banking, shopping, and listening. Not too mention my sweet mom is going to drive me to Philadelphia, PA so I can avoid flying!

Not everyone wants to live like me, I can accept that. I just can't help it. I am guilty. Mom and Pops, thanks and I am sorry!

My version of high school.

My freshman year of high school I was on top of the world. I had tons of built in friends. I played tennis and soccer (I was terrible at both). I was the fastest runner on the tennis team and the best Shrek impersonator on the soccer team. In gym class I was the lifeguard because I was the only one who swam across the pool without touching the ground. I could have chosen to play the sports that I was better at (cross country? swimming? track?) It never mattered that I was not good at the sports I chose to play because people liked me. Plain and simple.

My world was shattered when my parents decided to move me to the land of southern belles and gentlemen. The move had potential. My attitude failed me miserably. I suddenly could not make anyone crack a smile. The girls laughed at me. The boys were clueless. The administrators did not even give me a chance at the honors program. I ate lunch in the bathroom. I am not kidding you. It was horrible. I went out for cross country and the girls threatened me, told me I was not to run faster than them. I can't describe how emotionally draining fighting a winless battle at 15 was. I wrote letters, spent my nights talking on the phone, searched the internet for affordable flights (although I was willing to pay anything), and cried my heart out. I longed for the days I could move back to Kansas and room with my best friend M.E.C. in college. Life could be good again.

Life would be good again, just not in Kansas.  I managed to make three friends in three years of high school.  The main "threat" on the cross country team graduated. I befriended the coach as his secretary. He believed in me (finally)!  It only took one person.  The temporary hell (that was high school) ended and I moved on to college.  The majority of the people stayed the same.  I changed my attitude, I embraced my inner dork, I made friends, and I enjoyed myself.  

That's what it's all about!

Saturday, the youngest H was off to his first homecoming dance.  Unlike his older siblings, this child loves to dance.  C.A. thrives on the spotlight, whether it be on the stage in Peter Pan, in his band, or on the cross country course.  In second grade he perfected the worm and rolling his stomach, two fan favorites.  Although he claims rolling his stomach is harder with his new washboard abs.  Oh to be in high school!  

After moving countless times, C.A. has finally found his clique.  In the words of C.A. himself, "mom and pops are really adjusting to me being a lot more popular than C.D. and you!"  Suspicion confirmed: I was a loser in high school (and I guess C.D. was too--at least in the eyes of C.A.).  That's okay, life is too short to be cool (except in high school).  He is also right on his first point, my parents are struggling.  He wants to stay out late, go to football games after practice on weeknights, and hates geometry. I told C.A. I would leave the PC if my parents threatened to move him in high school.  Somehow, someway I will find a job here and keep him in Virginia.  He is so happy and I want him to have what I did not.

Moving was not the end of the world.  It was temporary hell.  Even if my parents had kept us in Kansas I doubt they would have been experiencing the same difficulties.  C.D. and I were homebodies.  We never stayed out late, our (three) friends hung out at our place, and we never struggled with school.  That is not too say we never caused trouble.  We just kept our trouble at home.  They never had to stay up late (their biggest challenge) waiting for us to come home.  They rarely had to deal with kids (and the parents of these kids) that they did not know.  And I always did my homework (smile), C.D. was smart enough to get his done before class at school, of course.

The thing is in high school being "popular" is what it is all about.  It is not cool to be yourself. Sigh.  If you are not popular, you should at least try to blend in.  Terrible, right?  Yes and honest.  High schoolers can be so cruel.  That being said I love hearing stories about the number of friends C.A. has, the number of upperclassmen he impressed, tallying all 5000 text he sends each month, and watching him improve on the cross country team.  I like waiting up for him to come home or picking up the high schoolers after the football games.  

C.A. I know what a good time you are having, don't loose sense of who you are hanging with the in crowd!  Stay cool in the level headed sense.  Enjoy this time (and manage it wisely)!  Yes, the work and life in college is much harder (a question C.A. frequently ponders).  Sorry the dance was a bust (lack of sound-system)... hopefully next year will be more fun.  

I thought I would include a picture of my freshman year homecoming dance!  This is my favorite picture because it really captures the awkwardness of it all.  I went with a date, had I known it would have been my last... I might of taken C.A.'s route (a group of insanely close friends).  

How low can they go?

Yesterday, we stuffed the car with homemade wings and other tailgate goodies before heading to Fed Ex field to watch the Kansas City Chiefs take on the Washington Redskins. Going to cheer on a zero and five team, you do not have much hope for a win... especially after watching the Chiefs give the Detroit Lions their last win (oh, that is before the Lions beat the Redskins) less that two years ago. That being said, it was a delight to see the Chiefs actually pull off a win! I realize we probably beat the worst team in football. It's okay. I will remain a fan through thick and thin.

I definitely know why the Chiefs are now one and five. Matt Cassel was sacked four times in the first quarter alone. The offensive line gave him no time at all. There is a lot of work to be done. Props to one rookie, Ryan Succop... four field goals on a windy day! The thought of praising a South Carolina Gamecock. Disgusting.

How have the Redskins managed two wins this season? I'm amazed. They are terrible! When you can't get a first down it is hard to win a football game. When you rumble the ball, you excite the fan in me. You must play fairly or the yellow flag will be thrown. Your fans will begin to boo and again the fire in me will be ignited. Jason Cambell was replaced with Todd Collins (yikes) at the start of the second half. I had no idea Todd Collins was still in the NFL. He has to be older than my dad. What did the Redskins learn from this disaster of a game? That will not be determined till next week. The start: Jim Zorn will no longer be calling the plays. In my humble opinion, it is more than play calling that is costing the Redskins the game.

Thanks for the tickets, Mom and Pops. I truly enjoyed the uneventful farewell win. Chiefs n' Chopper.

K.F.A. Visits

Last weekend a very dear friend of mine traveled up the east coast to visit me. She trusted her life to a pilot who is paid less than 20,000 dollars a year to come see me. This was a pretty big deal! College life is hectic (and sometimes miserable), and I think we were both in need of a retreat. She left me feeling so full of life and motivated to be a better person. That is nothing new, even a quick phone call with her always refreshes me!

We squeezed a lot into four short days, here is the recap:

On Friday night after a five hour I-495 traffic jam we bonded with the mom and pops over some lemon butter salmon (my meat eating palate is returning, sigh) and poppy seed salad. Saturday, I woke her up early to take her to C.A.'s Glory Days Cross Country race, definitely the highlight of her trip! Then we ventured into Georgetown for the Taste of Georgetown, a quick tour of the campus, and some window shopping. We both fell in love with Georgetown! K.F.A. declared, "Georgetown has everything... shopping, eating, college, and the outdoors!" I would say she was right on. We also managed to squeeze in a quick tour of my hometown and some Big Bang Theory. As always, there was plenty of time for talking. Life has been so blah lately, but our conversations are so encouraging. K.F.A. is extremely honest with her emotions, something I really struggle with. I admire that in her!

Sunday K.F.A. caught some ZZZ's before I took her on a five hour walking tour of the District. The walking tour of D.C. can be a bit daunting, but she found joy in the beautiful weather (and the number of people out on a Sunday). I love your ability to find joy in the little things! She saw a lot of D.C. but also learned about the misery of parking... when there is so much going on (a Solar Decathlon, Gay Pride Rally, Kick For Kids Who Can't, and the last stop in the Breast Cancer 3-Day Walk). After some fillets we jammed on World Tour before hitting the sack. We had one last stop (two actually) Monday before K.F.A. hit the road: Great Falls for a mini hike and lunch at Panera (second only to Einstein Bros).

I am really really really unsure how I survive 27 months without you in Africa. I am going to miss you so much, heck I already do miss you! Your work ethic, your determination, your passion for change, your lack of understanding of close mindedness, the book recommendations, AND your story telling... definitely what I am going to miss most. In all of this I failed to mention her amazing ability to make a killer playlist. That will be hard to live without as well.

It is going to be hard to be out of the loop these next couple of crucial years. Good luck with Coast Rica or Medical School or a year off. Wherever you go I am behind you. I know you have thought it through... and throughly planned. I have faith in you and our friendship! Always remember, "Good things happen when you go for it." (Alan Webb)

Nobody gets a new beginning

Early Tuesday morning Charlie Davies was badly injured, several broken bones and a lacerated bladder, in a car accident near my home (clogging roadways for five hours). This accident is tragic on multiple levels. Davies is a forward starter for the US National soccer team and as a result of the car accident there is a possibility eight months from now he will not be recovered enough to play in the World Cup. Every decent soccer player dreams of playing in the World Cup, an event occurring once every four years. He was not the driver (who so far has remained unidentified) of the vehicle and was only one of two passengers. The other passenger, Ashley J. Roberta, was killed. All we know about her is she was 22 and from Phoenix, Maryland.

I am not a fan of celebrities. I definitely support athletics... but even so I attempt not to glorify athletes. Regardless of what you want to believe they are regular people with extreme athletic talent. They get paid (probably too much) to play sports. You get paid to teach or sell cars or perform open heart surgery. We all assert our individual talent differently and we all have to make a living. This being said, this incident is hard for me to comprehend. A girl my age (alarm!!!) died. Her life is over and all we worry about is how this will affect the US National soccer team. Do not get me wrong, I was looking forward to the World Cup just as much as the next person. After all, it is taking place in the country engulfing my new home. Maybe Davies has more to his story. While he endured possibly life threatening injuries he lived. There is more to report on. Her story has ended. Should we close the book and move on? I doubt we are closing the book, most of us never heard her story. We are too wrapped up in Davies and what it means for the team. I sincerely hope he recovers to his previous soccer potential in the the predicted six to twelve months. I also think everyone deserves a fair chance at life. At my age death is still so hard to comprehend. If someone I know died, for them, I would want to go out an live the best life I could. Davies, I am pulling for you. Live for Roberta!

Last I checked, besides not mentioning the driver... alcohol and drugs have been left out of the story. It is hard from me to believe that at 3:15AM on a Tuesday morning one or both of these substances was not in the picture. So many of my friends drink and drive. Its terrible! I should de-friend them (at least on facebook). Athletes are supposed to be role models. Part of their job (in my professional opinion) is to behave presentably in public. When the rest of the world might find it difficult to get hired because of a past DUI or a casual relationship with drugs you (the athletes) are constantly covered and given second chances. You get paid a lot of money. The least you could do is show some respect for the children and fans who look up to you. To my friends who get behind the wheel while intoxicated (and athletes too) have some respect for your life... and those lives you threaten to affect in the case of an accident.

It's unfortunate that is takes an accident like this to wake us up from the coma we call life.

Side Note: I realize in this post I harp on how overpaid athletes are. Major League Soccer players are not really overpaid, compared to other sports they are probably underpaid. This is just one of many second chance stories for athletes. I would think it was unprofessional and stupid for any sane member of society to operate a vehicle under the influence. The way our society is based the 'nobody' (Roberta in this case) would have been neglected... the athlete, the politician, the celebrity would have made the story public.

H.C.O.

Regardless of my dislike of lacrosse I managed to befriend a lacrosse player my sophomore year of college. My eventual friend and roommate has been an incredible source of support these past three years. College definitely would have been very different without her. We were inseparable for a chunk of time and distant for another part. I needed her. She is probably the only person who challenges me, really makes me dig deep to defend my opinions. Politically we are on opposite sides of the spectrum. If there is a religious spectrum we are as far apart as you can get. Her motivation is off the charts, mine begs to be noticed. We come from extremely different family backgrounds. She always has a boyfriend, she has family aspirations, she is extremely independent. I can stop. Actually, I can't... not until I mention her ability to quote every episode of every show on TBS. Now the point has been made. We are very different.

Like all good friendships we do have a one thing in common: our newly discovered love of the best show on TV (no folks, it does not air on TBS).

(843): (563) whatever sunny in Philidelphia does on Thursday I am doing all weekend.

(843): I totally drank wine from a soda can last weekend.

You make me laugh. You let me dream. I am not sure who else could have made the long hours in the library bearable. Even when we were barely speaking you complimented me on my leadership of the ultimate nerd club. I was so completely caught off guard I do not think I even muttered a thanks. I am thanking you now, it meant a lot. Why didn't I think of that? The club would have been nowhere without the help of the other officers. You challenge me mentally, but you also challenged me physically. I never would have run in the half marathon if you were not signed up. After the stress fracture I endured during marathon training I was so unmotivated to ever run again. Thanks.

It seems now you are going about your dream of being an OBGYN in a different way, a better more unique way in my opinion. "Be yourself, everyone else is already taken." (Oscar Wilde) That is exactly what you are doing. When medical school seems to be all the rage you are thinking outside the box. Next to you I am a failure. You have accomplished so much in your 21 years of life.

This post was really hard to write because I am near confident you read this blog. Know that you will be missed.

Here and Now

It is time, past time really, to report on my hatred of local news. Local news is the absolute worse source of information. To think at one point I wanted to be a reporter and one of my idols is Katie Couric, she had to start with local news. My dislike of the local news began in fifth grade when I watched the KCTV-5 every night as I was falling asleep and was confirmed my freshman year of high school. The story of my confirmation lies below, skip to paragraph three if you can just accept local news for the horror that it is.

A teacher who tells me I am not allowed to cite wikipedia definitely can't come into class an inform me the animals at the Kansas City Zoo are freezing. The animal lover in me had to know more. My hands went up and my friends were mortified! Where did you hear this? And why exactly are they freezing? I mean there are plenty of animals living in the wild not freezing to death, plus I thought it was above freezing last night. I heard the news on KCTV-5 this morning and it turns out the heater in the polar bear cage was broken. Anyone who knows me knows I have a special place in my heart for polars bears... I was even more intrigued. Why in the world are we heating them? Polar bears naturally inhabit the Arctic last I checked. I left class and headed to the library to learn more. Turns out there was a mistake. The polar bears were actually too warm, the AC was not working. What a shocking reality.

Paragraph Three: We are such a here and now society. Do not report the facts, just the suspicions please. That's genius... get the world stirred up over nothing. I could not think of a better idea myself. My anger was renewed tonight by a story reported on today--the Colorado six year old who was supposedly floating away in a hot air ballon. Lo and behold the "facts"say the child was found hiding in a box in the attic of his home. This bit of local news might have gone national since I heard about this story tonight at the free clinic, and I am quite a few miles from Colorado. That does not really help me prove my local news is terrible point. Regardless, do we really need to get anxious when we do not know the facts? No. That is a waste of time, not to mention, there are so many other important topics to be brought to the attention of the people. The media loves drama, they thrive on breaking news. Next time, think before believing. A little less news and a little more life please.

Observations on Life

Lately I have been focused on the details in life. That's very weird for me. It originally started as a way to pick up on things I might want to add to my already three page packing list, notice the things I might miss while away and attempt to take advantage of them while I still have five weeks to wait. Blah, blah. The point is, I have come to a conclusion that has nothing to do with my future Peace Corp experience. The verdict is: the people we surround ourselves with tend to adversely affect our attitudes. Sure, you have all known that for quite sometime... but I learn by doing. Naturally this was something I had to witness for myself.

At home I noticed I rarely have bad days. I am constantly surrounded by children or out volunteering or bonding with the family. Children are some of the happiest people on the planet. I mean who would not love to have a constant playmate (me, the babysitter) and a playground with lots of toys. They are unware of anything going on in the world around them. Life is easy! Note to self: find a job that works with children or have children of your own someday. Volunteering is great because it gets me out, I meet crazy funny people, and I feel needed. Oh to be needed! The people I volunteer with are genuine and passionate people, definitely positive people to be around. As for the ones we serve, they are more than gracious. It's a mystery to me how they can remain so happy (at least on the surface) when they are dealing with so much! Note to self: do something that constantly introduces you to new things and people, help out those less fortunate than you. As for my family, they are about as laid back as you can get. Pops has a job, mom has perfected the 'hold down the fort' roll, C.D. lives the dream poor college student life, and C.A. has a million and two friends. Note to self: even though your family is not all about eating healthy and saving the world and living cheap (i.e. the exact same as me), be grateful you have a loving family.

This postcollege/predeparture life is vastly different from what I was used to over the past four years. In college the bad days outweighed the good. Do not get me wrong, I loved college life. I made lots of friends, the football weekends and basketball games were a blast, and the opportunities to make an impact were unlimited. I truly prefected the social (while still maintaining a purpose to life) lifestyle. The bad days were associated with prefect weather that I never took advantage of because I locked myself in a dungeon to study sort of days. Yes, the first few weeks of each semester were great but after that there is so much work. Study, study, study... there are weeks where I literally studied, worked, and went to meetings. That was never much fun! Maybe it was only my major? Doubtful! I am definitely not someone who had it all. When I chose social events my grades slipped and when I chose academics my mood slipped.

And then just when you think you have taken every test there is to take and mastered every task there is to master... your friend has a bad day (you can relate). Then you feel sorry for yourselves (probably more than necessary) and you just can't wait for the next best thing. My friends were not Debbie Downers by any means. It is the overall negative college atmosphere. We all chose (some more than others) to go to college yet none of us want to do the work for the degree. Not surprising, after all we live in lazy America. In Lesotho, my reading says youth quit when they do not pass to the next grade level or when they find other ways to make themselves useful. A big part of me thinks that is more efficient. Before you start barking, I know education is the key to success and our future relies on education. I am very aware! I just think if we can't handle the brunt of the work then we do not deserve to be there, and if we just keep passing children to the next grade level the education will be worthless.

Here is where I realize I can actually tie this into my 'next best thing.' The people I chose to bond with in Lesotho are going to have an impact on my mood and the way I chose to live. If all the volunteers are struggling it will probably not be a good idea to sit around with them and wallow. That did not work in college and it probably is not going to work a million miles away from friends and family. Yes, being their for your fellow volunteers (or peers--in any part of life is good) and letting them know you are sorry is important, but if you are doing fine... keep on keeping on. I was chosen along with 26 others to go to Lesotho and make a difference. Do I want them to think all Americans are weak and constantly depressed? Absolutely not. I want them to know that the American materials (processed overseas and sold in America kind of materials) in life make us depressed and things burden us. Okay, maybe that is only me, but you will not be traveling so I am representing America. Evil laugh.

I think my point got more blurry as I wrote. I am not sure if there even was a point. Sometimes there isn't a point to an observation, or a series of observations. Observing onward.

Breaking Barriers

Saturday C.A. was breaking mental (and physical for some) barriers.  He is now officially a sub-20 five kilometer runner!  More precisely, 19:40.  Hooray!  Maybe K.F.A. brought him some luck (although who really believes in luck when you train by running four to ten miles everyday at practice for three months)!  Now he has officially surpassed my personal record (PR) and is ready to take on C.D.'s PR!

I am so proud of him.  I have enjoyed watching and cheering him on at all his races this season!  Not only did he break 20, he also was the second freshman boy!  For a child who promised his family he would never run cross country he sure has shown some early talent!   

Montana

I am sure every time Pops thinks about my Montana 2008 trip he thinks about how thin his wallet is, but when I think about Montana I remember all the amazing people I met and scenery/animals I saw. There are lots of people to thank for makings this trip possible: Pops for footing the bill (Smile!!!), J.L.W. for encouraging me to go (she was going on her own Utah adventure), and Dr. T and Teaching Assistant C for making the trip a memorable one. It is really no surprise I how excited I was prior to the trip. I mean, I love traveling, meeting new people, and the thought of outdoor school--oh boy!

After landing in Bozeman and waiting outside the airport for rental cars with ten silent people I was wondering what I had gotten myself into. Whenever you do things with a bunch of people you do not know, awkwardness is usually a guarantee. During the first three days of our Rocky Mountain Field Ecology Adventure silence (synonymous with awkwardness to someone who has a lot to say) was abundant. One would think after camping together at Beavertail Hill, enjoying a warm breakfast at Bear Rock Cafe, exploring the National Bison Range, driving to the University of Montana Biological Station, hiking in Glacier National Park, and kayaking on Flathead Lake at Yellow Bay we would all be one big happy family. Nope, it was not until our eight hour drive to Cooke City, Montana that we finally started bonding. I am not sure we were 'friends' yet but the silence was definitely erased. Thank goodness, otherwise I do not think I could have made it another minute!

I really do not know if I could have asked for twelve more awesome people to explore Montana with. There was lunch on Three Forks, lots of Yellowstone National Park to see, all the cool animals roaming wild (black bears, buffaloes, coyotes, wolves, owls, moose), the Wolf Reintroduction Den, a trip on winding roads up to Dead Indian with amazing photographer D.H. and his daughter, Old Faithful (and lots of other geysers and fumaroles), camping at Gros Ventre Campground near Grand Tetons National Park (and then trekking through snow in the park the next day), a walk around Jenny Lake, the Grand Canyon of Yellowstone. Dr. T kept us really busy, but at the end of the day we were still ready for ecology lessons and a few games of pool (me always winning, of course)! We truly bonded... once the eleven mutes began to speak.

I am not sure whether it was all I learned about ecology, the travel and the fact I was able to cross two gorgeous states off my list, the new people I met or what it was that made this trip so much fun and extremely memorable. In Montana we were all removed from the comforts of our friends back at school, our daily routines, and typical learning styles. Maybe we bonded initially based on the fact we all had something in common (obvious by the fact we all chose to go on the trip), but exchanging numbers at the end of two weeks seemed silly because I assumed as soon as we returned home and spent the summer apart before reuniting at school there would be no friendships left. Thankfully, that was not the case. K.F.A. and K.A.R. quickly became two of my closest friends! It was not only those two though, I came back and had classes with M.T.K. and L.M.C., occasionally met S.A.I. for lunch, stopped in Dr. T's office to catch up on life, and spent lots of time with Teaching Assistant C's morbidly obese pets.

I understand that people come into and out of our lives at different times for different reasons. I am so glad I (sort of) stepped out of my comfort zone and into a previously unexplored area with a bunch of new people. If for no other reason I am glad I traveled to Montana to met these people. Each one of them has so much to offer life, and I am really excited to see where life takes all of us. Right now it is taking me to the airport to pick up K.F.A. for a long weekend! Yay for being a college graduate and still getting to enjoy fall break!

This quote sums it up pretty perfectly: "You meet people who forget you. You forget people you meet. But sometimes you meet those people you can't forget. Those are your friends." (Unknown)

Pre-departure Updates

It's 5 weeks away!  I can't believe it!  I am getting so excited!  I thought I was excited 5 months ago, I had no idea.

Packing: I started.  

Trips:  I have been traveling a ton these past five months.  Its been so good to see family I have not seen in awhile, spend time with good friends, travel to places I have not been in awhile, and visit places I have never ventured too before.  In all of this the trip I have been most excited about is my final combination trip to Georgia and South Carolina!  Time in Georgia means hanging with C.D. and the rest of his gang.  It means staying up late, laughing, analyzing sports, and hiking.  Then I will be on to South Carolina to spend a week pretending I never actually graduated with the guys and gals I spent the last four years with.  I have no doubt this trip will be really fun!  15 days and counting...

Money:  This has truly been the most frustrating part of preparing for departure.  What to do with the money I have?  Bank of America wants to charge me $12 a month for maintaining an account (that must at all times have $750 in it) with them.  Are you kidding me?  Did you hear me when I said 27 months?  Do the math, that is $324 (meaning the account would need $1074 when I left)!  No compromising there.  Obviously I am leaving Bank of America (ASAP!!!).  Oh joy, add finding another bank to the list of money-things-to-do!  Invest it?  How-- the stock market, certificates of deposit, bonds?  Education is worthless for important major real life decisions!  How much do I take?  I am hoping my final packet from the Peace Corp will help with some of this... doubtful.  Then there is my credit card which conveniently expires while I am gone!  If the mail carriers ransack candy... who knows what would happen to a credit card sailing through the mail?  Then I have to fill out income tax forms, get life and property insurance, write a will, and find a reputable lawyer to be my Power of Attorney.  And K.A.R. you thought I hated money before... be glad you are living in New Zealand right now!  

Gifts:  I never had any confidence when it comes to gift giving so the task of having to shop for host mothers and fathers and random children has been daunting.  Mothers and fathers is plural because the way I understand it is we have two sets--one during training and one during our two years of service.  I only like giving practical gifts (and I rarely succeed at that) but I have no idea what these people live like.  Okay, that is an exaggeration... I have done my research (sort of), but my picture of Lesotho life is still a little blurry.  No worries readers, soon you will have a very clear picture of what life is life.  I see lots of ranting on how can this be?  Do you know how easy we have it in America?  Back to gift giving, I have decided I am going to be bring can openers, vegetable peelers, and good knives to my host mothers.  For the children I have chosen candy (they apparently love candy in Lesotho) and these adorably amazing globe pencil sharpeners.  As for my host pops... I am stuck!  I have no ideas.  Any and all suggestions are welcome! 

Going away:  After telling you how much I hate materialistic holidays like Christmas and birthdays (oh just wait, my vendetta against halloween post is a mere 25 days away!) you are probably not surprised to learn that Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.  Well maybe you are a tad surprised after learning how much I despise the kitchen.  Nonsense, on Thanksgiving I do no cooking.  I wear sweats (unless g'ma and g'pa are in town), bond with the family and friends, indulge in way too much food, and watch the Detroit Lions loose.  That was a lot of rambling to tell you my parents are preparing a real Thanksgiving dinner for my going away party.  Pops is refusing to make tofurky but the show will go on and the gesture is still quite sweet.   

Staging:  My staging packet should be here in the next two weeks.  Staging is a one day/one night event that takes place in America right before we depart.  Basically, it learn more about the Peace Corp, get jabbed in the arm with a few more vaccines, and sign your life away some more.  A cross your t's, dot your i's sort of event.  Oh and we finally get to met the 26 others we will be traveling with(!!!).  I am hoping for a Washington DC!  That way if I forget anything or talk to another volunteer who brought something I "need" my wonderful mother could run out and get it for me.  Plus, I know the city really well so getting there, arranging rides from the headquarters to my hotel, and then to the airport would be no big deal.  Unfortunately, I did some cheating and it looks like I am going to be in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.  Like everything in life there are positives to Philly: it is still relatively close, it's the setting of my favorite tv show (God knows I will need a drink at Paddy's Pub the night before I leave), and it's another state to cross off my list.

I think those are all the updates.  It was a lot or I am super wordy.  I favor the later.  

Oh Tigs

I am not even going to pretend to be a Detroit Tigers fan for the next five minutes.  I am loyal to the Atlanta Braves.  That being said, the Braves did not make the post-season.  It is almost impossible to believe, I know!  Yesterday, I was pulling for the Tigers.  With four games left in the regular season the Tigers were three games up on the Minnesota Twins for victory in the American League Central.  They blew that and ended up in a extra innings tie breaker game last night against the Twins.  Going into the game the Tigers were beyond do or die.  Continuing with Tiger history they went down in a terrible (borderline embarrassing) loss.  Not only did they pretty much have the win in the bottom of the ten (heck, bottom of the seventh) they made fundamental baseball mistakes.  

Pops taught me two things early in my softball days: when batting keep your eye on the ball and when fielding you must always stay in front of the ball.  Ryan Raburn your diving attempt is only cool if you actually make the catch... not when you make your center fielder, Curtis Granderson, run circles to find and control the ball.  He has already been a big enough disappointment this season, no need to make him appear worse.  It was you that made the mistake.  We all make mistakes, luckily most of ours do not deprive our entire team/city full of fans from the post-season.  Harsh?  Probably a little.  I should give you minimal credit.  You followed that play up with a catch and a nice accurate throw to home to end the tenth.  Allowing the Twins to again do enough damage only to tie the game.  We all know that only last for so long (i.e. two more innings).  

If the Tigers had made the post-season I would have become a fair weather fan.  I would have cheered them on, allowed Pops to buy me merchandise, and called g'pa daily to check up on the Detroit Free Press report.  The Tigers shot themselves in the foot when their city and fans needed it most.  Better luck next year!  In the words of Brandon Inge, "They [the Twins] earned it. They did."  

PS: Technically the game should have been played Monday night.  Unfortunately for both teams the game had to be played Tuesday (last night) because the Green Bay Packers were meeting the Minnesota Vikings at the Metrodome for the Monday Night Football!  Speaks worlds for baseball doesn't it?  The sleep deprived Twins are playing the well rested winningest team in baseball, the New York Yankees.  At least they are not post-season deprived.  Sigh!  

You Take Life too Seriously

This summer four year old H.G.W. told me I take life too seriously. Really, that is impossible!  You are four, I refuse to listen to anything you have to say (an issue I will resolve later).  Granted it was probably in response to me freaking out when she tried to throw a half full gatorade bottle in the trash(!!!).  Two problems: the bottle should be recycled and the juice was still fresh.  She immediately reached to grab for a cold gatorade less than one second after improperly disposing of the gatorade.  Sweet little one I know you are only four but let me introduce you to the refrigerator or ice cubes.  No worries, I pulled the bottle out of the trash and drank the gatorade before recycling the bottle.  I'm serious. I did because it mattered that much to me.  

I need a reason for everything so naturally I asked her why (she thought it was okay to dispose of her gatorade this way?!?!).  Only kidding, I really wanted to know why she thinks I take life too seriously.  An answer to the other question would have been nice too... but I was working with the attention span of a four year old.  Her answer, "you turned into a crazy person about the gatorade bottle, you always get your 'lesson' face on when H.T.W. (the two year old brother) throws his trash on the floor, and you never smile."  How I wish it could have been the 100 degree heat making me nauseous on that Virginia summer day, not the four year girl with good intentions.  

I am admitting defeat, H.G.W. might be right.  Let me address each one of her points individually.  I did turn into a "crazy person" when handling the incident.  I probably could have been a tad nicer or understanding... but I wanted to save the bottle before it went swimming in a pile of contaminated trash.  And, unfortunately, unfinished/unrecycled gatorade bottles are not the only things that put me over the edge.  Plastic bags, uneaten leftovers/wasted food, people who take to-go boxes made of Styrofoam, long showers (multiple times a day).  The stir me up list goes on, I will spare you.  Major dilemma!  These things really make me angry and can sometimes ruin my day when I see multiple stir me up list items occur back to back.  This is a problem that obviously needs addressing.  How do you know when you have taken it to far?  I am extremely passionate about the issues surrounding persevering the earth but you have to draw the line somewhere.  Why should I care about saving the world when no one else does? I can't tell you how many children I have encouraged to pick up trash, friends I have encouraged to recycle, the number of strangers I have talked to about Styrofoam to-go boxes and plastic bags, employers I have discussed composting with, and the number of family members I have encouraged to buy only what they need in order to reduce waste.  The ones who catch on make it seem worth it.  When I meet others who are on already on board and teach me something new it seems totally worth it.  I am beat.  Is any of this contagious or is all of this a waste of a life?  I think I am past the line, waste bothers me too much.  Then again, it does not matter whether you are trying to save the world, raise your children, finish med school... the task is probably always daunting.  Passion takes you places, like to Africa!

Point two: first and foremost, I do not think there is anything wrong with forcing a two year old to pick their trash up off the ground.  I would not let a stranger throw trash on the ground, an adult superior, or anyone I consider friend or family in front of me.  I am always extremely patient with H.T.W. when discussing the subject of why we can't just throw our garbage on the ground.  He is two and I understand that.  It's great that he is two, he can be 'trained' to take care of the earth.  When I was taking care of A.L.R.L. she was always so proud to tell me when she did 'earth friendly' things.  Melts my heart every time!  My generation is only the start of the green trend, we need children like H.T.W. and A.L.R.L. to grow up in it, learn about the earth, understand why it is important to save it, and fight to protect it.  It is not too late for H.G.W., she is my work in progress.  Smile.  

Final point: H.G.W. is not the first person to tell me I never smile and I am sure she will not be the last.  She really pushed a button here because no other statement is that annoying!  I have two good friends, H.C.O. and J.L.W., who are also victims of the "you never smile" curse.  We have discussed this issue several times and always draw the same conclusion... just because we do not smile does not mean we are not happy.  I am  actually a pretty happy person.  Maybe you should stop judging and get to know me.  I do not have to broadcast a smile all the time to show it.  I guess my face naturally frowns (or I just think you--the person who told me to smile is super dumb) so please get over it.  I am happy (and very blunt), unless you hurt my friend, planet earth.  Of course, now you probably do not want to get to know me because I called you out for crossing the line.  So be it.  

The conclusion is that I probably do take life to seriously, but my passion for these issues is part of what makes me who I am.  If I gave up, besides being really lame, I would be throwing myself into a group of people I would rather not associate with.  Since the incident I have had a much better sense of humor about saving the earth.  I realize I need to let everyone live the life they have set out to live... even if that means they do not want to become green worker bees.  I am still going to continue to suggest and encourage new ideas and more earth friendly ways of life without being let down when my ideas are not put into practice.  The other valuable lesson I learned is maybe we should all shut up and listen to each other.  If a four year old can get me thinking and revamp the way I tackle a no impact life... it makes me believe lots of you have important messages you are waiting to share.  

Wow, that was a mouthful.  I am still breathing thanks to those trees right outside my window.  Check in tomorrow when the clean air is gone and those trees have been cut down to build one of the 100 houses being added to our neighborhood.  To think my parents bought new.  Have I taught them nothing?    

Losing My Touch

To the families I babysit for, thank you. Babysit, eat, sleep, repeat. That has been the routine for the past ten years of my life, though it seems I am losing my touch. Last weekend while I was watching the neighbors, O.D.M. fell out of the stroller and smacked his head on the pavement. Umm... he is eight months old! It was very scary. He is usually pretty chill and seemed completely normal afterwards, minus the GINORMOUS goose egg on his head! I was still terrified. What if he had a concussion? It was near bedtime but I was not about to let him sleep. I realized in all the time I have spent babysitting I had no idea what to do if a baby bumped (or slammed) their head into pavement. Luckily, everything was fine.

As if it could not get any worse, this past weekend I was babysitting for the (future) professor of sharks. While I was grabbing a game out of the closet for us to play my five year old professor went flying backwards down the stairs. I did not see it happen because my back was to the stairs (as was his) although I heard the bam, thump, pow as he bounced his way down the stairs. He is a super tough cookie, shedding only a few tears, before he was back to normal. While we played the game I watched the bump under his eye grow bigger and redder. Not fun. Thank goodness he was oblivious to my terror!

Both sets of parents were very understanding and assured me this could have just as easily happened when they were around. Their right! In both instances I was standing right there and in no way contributed to the accident. Still, when the parents leave the children are my responsibility. Two freak accidents in two weeks on my watch is more than even I can handle. And while I have ten years of experience, I am not always sure exactly what to do. Just when I think I have seen it all, I'm wrong. Similar to parenting (I presume), babysitting is a never ending learning experience!

Not to make light of these accidents (thankfully both boys are doing fine) nonetheless each experience only makes me a better, more confident babysitter. I am not trying to make a career out of this so called profession, but I have a true understanding of why you want to know, trust, and have an experienced sitter watch your children. I am extremely thankful 90% of the families I have worked for respect me and my time, know me well, truly trust me with their children, and are thankful of my past experience. Thanks again! What ever will I do without you and your children in Lesotho?

The Laughing Stock of Football

Clemson football is a joke! I am so thankful I was raised in the Big Ten, if only I could have been educated in the Big Ten as well. Yesterday the Clemson Tigers lost to the Maryland Terrapins. Does anyone know how bad the Terrapins are? AWFUL! The loss is embarrassing and I hope leads to some major revaluations during next weeks bye. Maryland lost to the California Golden Bears by 39 points. Granted at the time the Golden Bears were ranked 12th and the game was in California. The Terrapins hardly made an appearance in the game against the Golden Bears. They did not represent the ACC or themselves well at all. Okay, so the Golden Bears stomped them... but then they went on to beat James Madison University (JMU) by a field goal in overtime. Please reread that last statement. The Terrapins beat a 1-AA school on their own turf, in overtime, by a field goal. I'll stop because a win is a win (and it gets better). Moving on, Maryland loses their next two games at home. Before getting crushed by Rutgers (better known as "Butgers") from the Big (L)East they lose to Middle Tennessee State.

Now that I have hopefully convinced you how bad the Terrapins are you can understand the severity of a Tigers loss. Losing is nothing new for Tigers fan... but even the Tigers typically manage to pull out the easy wins. Not yesterday. Missed long field goals, little to no offense. I'm complaining. How can I avoid it? This was going to be the year, like the 5th plus straight year, I was promised an ACC Championship title. As of 4:08 PM on October 3rd Maryland was leading the Atlantic half of the ACC. If that does not speak for Clemson, it surely speaks for the ACC.

I'm sorry Dabo. I was excited to see T. Bowden go. Unfortunately, you have not shown me any promise. I am not jumping on any "fire Dabo" bandwagon, but I am all for turning this program around. This can not be sugar coated. Basketball anyone?

It's not for me.

Spending Saturdays watching football and doing nothing else, pure bliss. In spite of this there is one thing about football, or the players, I simply do not understand. By the time these guys are 18-21 years old their arms (and probably their backs too) are smothered in tattoos. I realize football players are not the only ones who tattoo themselves, tattoos just seem most prevalent in athletes.

First and foremost, these designs pasted to their bodies are permanent (definition: everlasting). I can't think of anything that I would want to look at on myself everyday for the rest of my life. Maybe my twice tattooed grandpa impacted my personal decision to never tattoos myself. He regrets both his tattoos a lot! Some people tattoo themselves with extremely personal and meaningful pictures. Good conversation piece? Negative.... which brings me to my second point: lots of people get tattoos places where they can't be seen. This decision really puzzles me! Why would you want a tattoo that people never saw or was only visible with certain wardrobe pieces? Explanation, please!

Let me also comment here, tattoos of butterflies and hearts immediately signal to me you are not at all deep, you barely scratch the surface. I could think of a million things with more meaning. And my other favorite designs are of the religious affiliation. Somewhere in the bible it says, "tattoos are bad" (with slightly more complicated wording). Its seems very hypocritical when people tattoo designs of Jesus (not too mention, how do people know what this guy looks like?) or the cross or bible verses.

My final concern about tattoos is the price at which they are purchased. If money grows on trees, can you tell me where? We are talking upwards of $400. In my college days that would be a 40 hour work week, yikes, definitely not worth it. Okay, I am super cheap so my final point is probably not valid. You could argue these last forever... la, la.

Having said I will never tattoo myself I have nothing wrong with others getting tattoos. Good thing because it is definitely not my decision to tell others how treat their bodies. Darn, I hate that. I can't wrap my head around where they get their money or how they know what they want when they are only 18-21 years old. Then when they do accomplish the first two things... why they hide them?

"Tattoos are like marriage: it's a lifelong commitment, it hurts like hell, and the color fades over time." (Unknown) Except marriage isn't really a lifelong commitment anymore... so this quote is partially expired.