The Journey

More than four years ago, I started writing as an experiment to see if I would enjoy the ride. I have. This blog has been multipurpose throughout the years, but over time morphed into a place of healing for me. I needed to write to escape and process. For better or worse, this experiment has come head to head with my real life on several occasions. And all of a sudden my thoughts are too dark and confused to put on the blog. This has been the case most recently. So as I have before, I had to sort through these thoughts before I could put them on the internet for the world to read. It’s easy to sit down and write about the good times, say my first adult vacation. The one I took back in July. More difficult though, are the hard times, the dark times, the times I’d often rather forget.

This road I have traveled for the past four years has been flooded with moments I’d rather forget. The lessons I’ve learned have come at a price. I’m not entirely sure the full price, but I do know I’ve had to give up part of me to become who I am today. It has been painful, lonely, dizzying, and disconcerting. The times I’ve cried in sadness, anger, confusion, and weariness. Oy, the ugly cries.

I had no idea closure would be this tough. I had no idea if closure – in this form – would come at all. The rest I feel today, though preceded by many sleepless nights, is a deeper rest than I’ve ever known. Though I would not choose this journey, having come out on the other side I am stronger because of it.

Over the next few weeks I will share more about the journey I’ve been on. I hope you’ll join me.